The Fault in My Stars
Alert! Alert!
Please be on the lookout for a middle-aged, perimenopausal woman, who just chopped off her hair, wearing a bright orange weighted vest and wrist weights, wandering the back roads of Lee, Durham, and Newmarket, while walking a small to medium-sized, brindle-colored dog. According to TikTok astrologers, said woman is on the verge of mental breakdown and it’s all Pluto’s fault.
Here’s the scoop.
What do I know about astrology? Well, everything. Obviously. Research is my middle name. Nerdiness is in my bones. When the TikTok algorithm presented videos about Pluto in Capricorn, I needed to know what the hell I was watching. (Side note: prior to my self-guided astrology course, I was consumed by ‘Bama Rush TikTok. Astrology seems to be one step closer to useful.) Anywho, here’s what I learned.
The zodiac is comprised of twelve specific constellations that the sun passes through. A person’s zodiac sign is the one the sun was in when they were born. Another term for zodiac sign is sun sign.
The zodiac signs are also groped into three modalities: Cardinal signs, fixed signs, and mutable signs.
Cardinal signs are considered the alphas of the zodiac and start each season. Aries marks the beginning of spring. Cancer kicks off the summer. Libra begins fall. And Capricorn brings winter. Cardinal signs are thought of as leaders and trendsetters of the zodiac. “Astrologically speaking, these boss signs show up when it’s time to change the climate every quarter.”
My sun sign is Capricorn. The range of birth dates for Capricorns is December 22-January 19. My birthday is January 4. Basically mid-point. The Capricorniest of Capricorns, if you will. Capricorns are known for being ambitious, resilient, hardworking, determined, and disciplined. Sound familiar? Capricorns can be perceived as suspicious, critical, stubborn, and cold. Take it easy, man. We all have areas for improvement.
Ready for more confusion? Great.
Every sun sign has a ruling planet, which affect personality traits and behavior. Capricorn is ruled by Saturn. Saturn’s influence on Capricorn results in a relentless pursuit of goals, practicality, and strong sense of responsibility.
However, other planets affect us when they move through our signs. This is where we get back to Pluto, that little fucker. For the purpose of this blog, Pluto is a planet. It’s not a moon and it’s not a dwarf planet. It’s just a planet. Feel me, boo? Okay. Onward.
Pluto intensifies and strengthens whatever it touches. It represents transformation and rebirth. It is the catalyst for change. It rules obsessive behavior, taboos, compulsions, and crisis. And Pluto has been fucking with Capricorns since 2008. But as of September 1, Pluto is in Capricorn for the very last time in our lifetime.
For its remaining time in Capricorn, Pluto is going to be chilling at 29 degrees Capricorn. This is the point of extremes, chaos, crisis AND opportunity, and evolution. During this time, I can expect “upheavals, turmoil, and a general felling that long-standing issues are coming to a breaking point.” It will be over November 19.
Well, shit.
But wait! There’s more. Because I am incapable of doing anything halfway, I consulted Google to create my full astrological birth chart. My birth chart interprets who I am based on the positions of the sun and planets at my birth...and never have I ever read something so accurate. I wrote about being a Capricorn already. That is my sun sign. My birth chart also considers the moon, planets by sign, degree, and house…
Yeah. I know. Too much. Let’s back up a step. The point is that a birth chart is way more specific to me than simply knowing my sun sign. For example, here’s some of what it told me:
I am a feet-on-the-ground, eye-on-the-prize girl. I am a productive person who likes to see tangible results.
I have a great need for independence.
I have mastered the art of making people laugh. My sense of humor is of the deadpan variety. I find humor in most situations.
I have a strong sense of society and its framework, and feel most secure when I feel I’m doing my part within that framework.
I take pleasure in the simple things in life, and naturally turn my back on things I deem too frivolous.
I am often a little reserved - even standoffish.
I am not known for taking risks but may take them on for the good of the community. I consider all possible consequences.
I deal with emotional issues and conflict directly. I am unafraid to discuss tricky topics but can be obstinate and may come on too strong. I have a hair-trigger temper.
I am frank, honest, optimistic, and generous. I have strong opinions and love to share them.
I am fair and expect others to be fair. I have a healthy respect for power and authority, but only if it is handled fairly.
I am prone to inner tension and self-destructive behavior. I struggle with a deep need to control myself and life itself. I can be hard on myself and others. In young adulthood, I was dangerous with a credit card.
I am very sensitive and may take things too personally. I have an expressive face.
I like order, harmony, and balance. I am a peacemaker and have an unusual ability to help and heal others. I am perceptive and intuitive. I am highly sympathetic, nostalgic, and sentimental.
I seek stability. I am fearful of change. I fear betrayal and abandonment.
I value a comfortable and safe home life and prefer being at home more than most people.
I am fascinated by other cultures and foreign places. I can get along with and accept people from all walks of life. I surround myself with the right people.
My thirst for knowledge is never satisfied. I am naturally drawn to learning what makes me (and others) tick. I believe that everything teaches something.
I experience headaches and sinus issues.
I am intrigued by the metaphysical.
Insert mind blown emoji here. Most of these traits are dead-on balls accurate. (Except for the part that told me I need to work on my organizational skills. As if.) The most surprising detail to me is the last item on the list. I am intrigued by the metaphysical. I haven’t thought about it for a hot minute, but it’s true. And I guess that’s why I’m writing about astrology today.
This definition describes metaphysics as “a type of philosophy or study that uses broad concepts to help define reality and our understanding of it. Metaphysical studies generally seek to explain inherent or universal elements of reality which are not easily discovered or experienced in our everyday life.” Spirituality. Philosophy. Astrology. Cosmology. The paranormal. Religion. All metaphysics, to some degree.
I wasn’t raised in a religious home. My mother was raised Catholic, and talked to my brother and me about God and church and prayers, but I feel like those conversations mostly took place around Christmas or Easter. In second grade, I begged my parents to allow me to attend Catholic Sunday School with my friend from down the street. I went once or twice then quit. I’m a Sunday School Dropout.
Organized religion never took up much space in my brain. When I became a mother, I made a conscious choice to teach Max that religions exist outside of Christianity, so he could choose his own path when he was ready. I was unprepared, however, when at age four, he asked me if the reason we don’t got to church is because we hate God. Damn, Gina. Give a girl some warning with those big questions.
I can’t remember how I answered him, except to say that I am certain I said no. If he asked me again today, I would still say no, but I would elaborate. I think I would tell him that the reason we don’t go to church is because we do love God. Or the holy spirit. Or Allah. Or Jesus. Or the universe. Or whatever. Our love is so big, in fact, that we don’t need to visit a church to form and cultivate a relationship with a higher power. We can just relate. In the car. At the grocery store. During a Zoom meeting. Wherever.
I think earlier iterations of me would be surprised at this version of me. With so much chaos taking place in the country and in the world, I find comfort in my faith that someone or something, way above my pay grade, has a plan. Hence my foray into astrology.
I’m sorry to say that if you came here for my mental breakdown, I don’t think it’s going to happen. Fake news. False advertising. Teaser. I take too much Lexapro for that, anyway. Pluto in Capricorn represents transformation and rebirth, and despite my risk avoidance and fear of change, I’m ready. ❤
